After Story
by maknae123
Summary: Kurogane and Fai have been through many trials, and now it's time for them to start a new story after their journey has finished. Post-series, based on head-canons.


**So I originally posted this first chapter a few weeks ago, but I messed up with the filters and no matter what I did, it just wasn't showing up when I would search for Kurogane and Fai fics. So hopefully everything will work now!**

**Okay, so just a quick little author's note before diving into the story. So one day I was thinking of all the headcanons I had for KuroFai after the series ended, and I decided to write them all down. Then I thought, hey, why not just make a story out of this? So that's what I'm doing.**

**Honestly, I wasn't going to post this as a story. I decided to just write it for myself... but then I found out that they're making a new Tsubasa manga! Anyone else sooo excited? It's supposed to be connected to xxxholic: Rei, and it's going to be a mini-series. First chapter is out August 20! I keep on praying that maybe some of my headcanons will become actually canon...? Haha, a girl can hope! So anyway, I decided to post this as a celebration of that!**

**Okay, enough of that. So, as always, please review, follow, and most importantly, enjoy!**

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It started in Nihon, after Kurogane had given up his arm just to save Fai.

Fai spent his time thinking of Kurogane as he waited, waited for the words Tomoyo told him to be true; for Kurogane to be saved.

From the beginning, he knew that he was going to have to kill Kurogane. And from the beginning, he told himself that if it meant bringing his precious brother back, then he would do anything. He already hated himself for what he had done to Fai; what did it matter if he had more blood on his hands?

But then, he ended up enjoying Kurogane's company, and teasing him, and calling him those outrageous nicknames. He didn't know why, but he couldn't help it; even though he still hated himself, and even though he would never forgive himself for what he had done, he really felt a bit of happiness when he heard Kurogane yell at him for calling him _Kuro-puu._

He couldn't stop himself from wanting to get closer to Kurogane, from crossing over the line he had clearly drawn for himself. It didn't help that Kurogane worked so hard to break down the walls he had so carefully built up; in a way, it made Fai feel special and even loved after everything that he had been through. Kurogane wanted to know why Fai said the things he said and did the things he did, and that made Fai feel cared for. But, he reminded himself every night, he couldn't let Kurogane know anything because as soon as he did, Kurogane would probably want to kill him himself.

And then Tokyo.

Fai told himself that he couldn't die, not until he gave Fai his name and life back. But, he asked himself whenever he was in a dangerous situation, would dying really be so bad? He could die and be with his brother again. He could atone for his sin with his own blood, since he should have been the one to die anyway.

And those thoughts were racing through his mind as he slipped in and out of consciousness after losing his eye. Not only would he atone for what he had done, he could keep the other Syaoran from using his magic to hurt the ones he had grown to care for. But Kurogane had to ruin everything.

Looking back, he knew it wasn't Kurogane's fault. In hindsight, it just proved how much Kurogane truly cared for him. Sure, Kurogane went against what Fai had clearly said he wanted, but it was because Kurogane was having an act of selfishness, and Fai knew all about that.

But it wasn't only fighting so much to keep him alive that made Fai feel cared for; it was the fact that Kurogane essentially gave up his own life just to make sure Fai didn't lose his. Fai knew that Kurogane would never leave his side as long as he was a vampire, because if he did then Fai would die. Kurogane would spend the rest of his life by Fai's side, even if it meant never returning to Nihon, just to keep him alive.

But Fai was angry, angry with himself for everything he had done, angry with the other Syaoran for hurting Sakura, angry with Ashura for turning into a monster, and angry with Kurogane for not just letting him die and escape all the anger and sadness.

He drew the line again, making sure to stay behind it this time.

_Good morning, Kurogane._

Fai never thought he'd see a look of shock or disappointment, but most of all pain, cross Kurogane's face at the use of his full name. He thought that Kurogane would scoff and say something like, _Seems like you've finally learned my name._

But Kurogane made it clear how he felt. He knew that Fai no longer using the silly nicknames was a cruel way to push them apart, and then he decided to go and make Fai angrier by trying to force them together again.

Drinking Kurogane's blood felt like torture, but Fai couldn't control himself when Kurogane would slit his wrist and hold it under Fai's nose. Before Fai could stop himself, he would grab Kurogane's arm and begin drinking.

It was not intimate, or loving, or even remotely comfortable—at least not for Fai. He felt disgusting, like a monster. But that's what he had been from the beginning, right?

Finding out that he had to go to Celes made him want to throw up. He tried to find a way to keep his friends from going there as well, but they wouldn't let him.

Just his luck.

Fai had always been ashamed of his past, of what he had done and who he had become because of it. With his poor brother cradled in his arms, he felt like the young child he had been when he and his brother had been given their fate to be imprisoned at the tower. They held each other before being taken away, and told each other that it would be all right, and that they would get out and live happy lives together.

But Fai had never been more ashamed than the moment he realized that Syaoran and Mokona had seen everything. But even worse, when he realized that Kurogane had seen his past. How long had he tried to keep it a secret, just for it all to come crumbling down?

No way out then; he'd have to kill Kurogane then and there because Kurogane fought so hard to make sure he would live, and he refused to die until he gave Fai his name and life back.

But he couldn't. He couldn't kill Kurogane.

His hands shook violently as he tried to cast a spell. He tried to abandon all thoughts, but when he saw Kurogane's furious face, he felt everything fall apart. This wasn't how it was supposed to be! He wasn't supposed to have feelings for the man he was supposed to kill!

Wait… _Feelings?_

And then Kurogane saved him. He killed Ashura so that Fai wouldn't have to, and gave him a comforting hand as Ashura died and as Fai's body disappeared.

_Let him rest now._

When Celes started crumbling around them, Fai felt numb. He really did bring chaos and destruction with him. The curse of the twins followed him everywhere he went.

But he wouldn't just let his friends die; not after everything they had done for him.

He realized it as Kurogane was leaving him, floating up towards Syaoran and Mokona while Fai sat in the remnants of Celes that would eventually swallow him alive. He realized that he didn't want to die anymore.

He wanted to live, to live a life big enough for both him and his brother. He wanted to cook with Sakura and help Syaoran and joke with Mokona, and with Kurogane…

Fai shut his eyes. But he was going to die, and he had to accept it. At least they would all be safe.

He didn't except Kurogane to chop his own arm off just to save him. It seemed like there was nothing Kurogane wouldn't do in order to save Fai. How could a warrior slice his arm off just to save someone as pitiful as Fai?

And here he was now, thinking of all these things and of the feelings that were blossoming in his chest. Ashura was dead, and he knew the truth of what Fei Wang Reed had done. He felt more at peace with himself, and with Fai's death, although he knew that the guilt would never truly leave him.

He realized Kurogane's true feelings towards him after the events of Tokyo, which was another reason he guarded himself even more. Only someone who truly cared for him, or truly _loved_ him, would sacrifice their freedom to save him. Only someone who truly loved him would gamble the relationship they had created just to make sure that he would stay alive.

Fai buried his face into his hands as he sat outside the room Kurogane was sleeping in. Could he really move on and open himself up to that love? Would Kurogane even be willing to accept him after everything he had put him through?

Fai lifted his head when he heard Kurogane's voice, and shut his eyes, his shoulders falling in relief.

Kurogane was alive.

When he was called in, he didn't know what do to at first. He kept his head down, unable to look Kurogane in the eyes. He stared at the bandages wrapped around Kurogane's chest, at the empty sleeve where his arm should have been.

"Oi…" Kurogane said a bit tentatively. Fai knew that he was wondering if their relationship would be even worse.

Fai walked over to him, lifted his fist, and let all of the anger he had been feeling before out in one fell swoop. His knuckles hurt, but he felt satisfaction in seeing Kurogane's bewildered expression as he held his head.

Fai lifted his eyes, blue meeting red, and smiled.

"That's payback, _Kuro-sama."_

Kurogane grinned his signature grin, his teeth bared.

"You bastard, I'll beat your ass!"

Tomoyo left, giving them privacy, and the room was silent as they both contemplated how to get their feelings out while staring up at the moon.

"I'm not going to pretend," Kurogane said, not looking at Fai, "That I don't have these feelings for you. Not anymore. Not after everything we've been through."

Fai smiled and looked down at his hands. "I'm not expecting you to, Kuro-sama. Not after everything _you've _been through."

Kurogane looked at Fai now. "Are you saying that because I chose to cut off my arm? I don't feel any regret, and I never will. As long as it means you're alive, I'll cut off all my limbs. And you…" His large hand lifted and landed on Fai's left cheek, the tips of his fingers on the black patch that covered the scars around Fai's missing eye. "You've been through much more than I have."

Kurogane told Fai the story of his parents then, not sparing any detail. He didn't feel embarrassed to tell Fai how he used to be as a child, or how he always loved the strong feeling of love that his parents would exude when they were together. He explained how they died, what it did to him, and why he had tried so hard to become the strongest person in Nihon. How he tried so hard that he lost sight of what was truly important, and it got him kicked out of his home.

"Losing my parents was the hardest thing I've been through," Kurogane said in a low voice. "But everything after that… I don't regret any of it. The way I acted before Tomoyo sent me away led me to the witch, and let me meet you and the kids. Everything that happened after that were my own selfish decisions, like deciding to turn you into a vampire just to make sure you wouldn't leave my side and cutting off my arm to make sure you wouldn't die like that."

"Kuro-sama…" Fai said quietly. He wasn't used to Kurogane speaking so gently, so honestly. However, even though this was the first time Kurogane put his feelings into words, this was not the first time Fai felt this from Kurogane.

"None of this was your decision, though," Kurogane said. "Even going to the witch wasn't your decision; you were told from the start what would happen. You were tricked and manipulated, and you lost your brother, your home, and everything you knew. But you didn't lose us."

Fai quickly wiped away at a stray tear. "Do you like seeing me cry?" He asked, trying to sound teasing to lighten the mood a bit. It was a habit he had picked up from all the years of avoiding ever opening himself up like this.

"Of course not," Kurogane said, wiping away a tear. "But I don't want you to hide from your past, and I don't want you to live in it. You need to remember everything you've been through, how it made you the person you are today, and how it helped you grow, but you need to focus on your life right now. You need to be looking forward, not back."

"And what do you see," Fai began quietly. "When you look forward?"

Kurogane lifted Fai's chin, looking him right in the eye. Words didn't have to be said; he saw Fai. Only Fai.

Fai shut his eye and tilted his head up more to accept Kurogane's lips. He wouldn't keep himself from enjoying the simple pleasures that life gave. He would always feel guilty since he could enjoy the feeling of having someone love you so unconditionally while Fai couldn't, but he told himself that he would just have to be as happy as could be so that Fai could feel it, too.


End file.
